warrior ethos

In working through this application process, one of the questions arose pertaining to a wife and her thoughts on the matter of pastoral ministry. And while I stated my current relationship involvement, I still jotted down a paragraph or two on the qualities and aspects of a woman I'm looking for - and that I'll need to marry a woman with the capacity to be a pastor's wife. Even if I never see the office of pastoral ministry.

And that got my thinking cap turned on the last few days.

I'm reading this book called Warrior Ethos, and the first section is dedicated to explaining that the strongest men, those of valor and selflessness, those who give up their lives in honor, are those men who's wives and mothers are bold, determined sources of strength in these said warrior's lives. While it references Sparta and other Roman-grecco cultures, and the subsiding reasons for their drawing of the definition of manhood from sources other than God, it has nonetheless made me realize now more than ever - whoever I'll pick to commit to, she needs to be a warrior alongside me.

Bravery out the window, it's the iron-clad determination to do what it takes, whenever it takes, however it takes, to have unwavering resolve and be committed to the Lord, his people, and the mission at hand. To have that in a woman is to have everything in a relationship. I desire that. I desire her, whomever God is making her out to be. And it's something that is learned, grown, and developed - I get that. But the heart, the willpower at the outset, that's the game-changer.

I need her to compliment and support me as much as she needs me for the same things, and to lead her.
I need a woman who undoubtedly loves Jesus more than me. But loves me next.

Anyway, this book is an interesting read to say the least, and it's got me thinking about this part of my life again. And who knows how this application process will turn out. Where but for the grace of God go I.

Sometimes there too much to write about.

Lets see...

I'm still kinda sore from all that barefoot running in the park on thursday.
I'm happy God has blessed me with much. Even if I weren't happy, I'd thank God all the same.
Grace over grace abounds in my life. Thank you Jesus for choosing me.

Today I'm running errands. First time I've done that in a while - I.E. getting caught up in life.
And I put together some dinner for Paige, Dana, and Rachel to help with things right now.
Let see...learning a ton. Learning more in my trade/skillset, bible/theology, music, patience.
God is good. Things get tough, tough is good. Because God is good.
Soli Deo Gloria

hours

spent most my summer indoors. under frigid air conditioning and florescent lighting. the worst part about florescent lighting isn't the depressing glow that it radiates, but the ceiling tiles it's mounted in-between. i want to see a real ceiling. a real top. a place of honest limitation.

somewhere that has a roof on the other side. a place to lay and watch the stars, or hot flamingo pink sunsets thanks to Utah fires.

anyway, after losing track on so many tangents and descriptions in this exile called life, i have honestly spent a lot of time in a closed office, with Tycho beaming through the speakers, and trying to understand this world of "animation".

the way i see it, everyone is an animatic, and everything else accordingly, thanks to gravity and other laws of nature. i'm learning to faux re-create what's in front of me. so a computer can understand, so it can make people understand, so it can make the company more money. so my bosses can be happy with me and find reason to keep me around. so pixels have purpose. so that apple gets it's product used. so that regardless of the amount of money that is spent on making this final production, i can hold my chin up and say that i gave it all i had.

time is ever so equivocated to money. it's ridiculous how true that old, cliche adage is. my worth isn't measured in numbers with a dollar sign - and i'll hopefully find out more about that in our next episode of "my life this year of 2012"

i don't even bother to wear a wrist watch anymore...confounded computers.

sola scriptura

fidelity
authority
liberty
perspicuity
finality
applicability
clarity
veracity
divine writ

the Word of God, sharper than any two edged sword.
God has spoken though it. God has used it to speak through ecclesiology.
to take it in parochially is idolatry.
to avoid sections is lunacy.

I am bound to it. I am pressed by it. I am stirred with it. I am broken in it. I am renewed from it. I am enriched through it. I am captive of it. I am slave under it.

Every word of God proves to be true, and it will rule and dictate the rest of my life.
I esteem God and His word higher than any else, for it is right, true, and holy.

Betty Draper suuuuuuucks so bad.
I've only in the last few days had a chance to catch up on Mad Men. I'm into season 4 now, and I am enraptured in this story. Such a brilliant show. I will never look like Don, but I can have his swagger. And I'm head over hills in love with my dear sweet Joan. Oh, and did I mention I hate Betty?

Prima Facie

As it were, our judiciousness is founded upon innocent until proven guilty. In ethic, practice, Christendom, and citizenship, we assume everything is right and proper until given reason not to. That's perfectly fine, until the bombardment of secularism, an anti-God established principality, finds its ugly rearing head into the heart of the people of God. I say that, because everything is not OK.

At first glance, it appears educated, sophisticated, or modern. Maybe it's even sexy, glamorous, or celebrity. But it is the very dreadful thing that will attempt to undo what God has established as right and pure. One has to step back and take a look at the big picture: what is my life amounting to?

My habits, aspirations, desires, motives, needs - what are they? Christ centered, found in Scripture? or non-Christ centered, founded upon everything but him?

A hard pill, a bitter spell, but a necessary and overdue critique. A double take, a Berean heart, is what will be the difference. God will be glorified.

The practical ramifications: live sturdily trusting in God believing that everything is ok, but be alert and on the watchtower to look for the obvious, and the spies with many eyes. Discernment, critical assessment, prudence. Exile, yet tactile.

I really want rainstorms. And September, to be reminded that I'll be 24, and on the verge of some big things. It'll take some work, but I want to have written two books before I'm 30. I have the ideas, one fiction, the other, doctrinal, but it'll take some serious development before I make headway on it.

I really want brainstorms. And autumn is a time where I find myself taking different creative approaches to various mediums and projects. I'll be reminded that I'm going to be 24, and having not accomplished the things I thought I should have at this point.

Paper is pure, and limitless. It's the opportunity to sketch and write and smudge and blend and get things out in their rawest form. Writing diagrams with thick black marker. Drawing crude sketches with compositions, thumbnails, ideas, bad ideas, thin red ink. The time to get messy, frustrated, distraught, annoyed, and that one sparkling moment of genius.

I'm going to buy several sketchbooks, and just have at it. Get back to the roots, the basics. Music will be brighter, and more intentional. And in all of it, it will very much be centered around Scripture.

Today were new beginnings - in a jumpstart sort of way.

I feel like there are new avenues motivating me. And I have found a fresh wind.
It's been a while since I've had a decent cup of coffee, though. So that's gotta change.

Sharp tools, primed and ready are great, but a steady focus and ambitious heart will do the trick.
Here's to new things!

El que quiera saber sus defectos, que se case y el que quiera saber sus cualidades, que se muera.

Yet, it is a great fear of mine that one shall arrive before the other.

I face giants every day, but this sling and stone of mine are wearing out.

A cool, silent wisp hits my face - the night air, the leap in my heart that fall is near.

It's gonna be whatever. For now.