Poem #4/Unsportsmanlike Awakening

Sorrow found me when I was young...
∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅
I awake, middle of the night, in disbelief of where things are.
Things like love lost, then found
Things like time wasted, and well spent
Wanting to say more

Unsettling dead silence
Eyes open, like it's been a long slumber
It's still 2:38AM, and I should not surrender until I've passed the tunnel.

Soon, stories and confessions bridging canyons,
and drawing lines, connecting dots, following patterns that stars have made that already blew up.
If those things are on the map, that is. I hate being awake right now.
Hospital bed, pull the plug, I'm not conception inception, power outage without any sort of idea.

You do things, I'm sure of it. I'll make quieter, and go on for this.
∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉
...'cause I dont want to get over you.

I'm very interested to see this

I believe as a result of my film class, I've become increasingly attracted to documentaries. If my professor heard me say that, she would probably see to it I got A's for the rest of my academic career...ha!



The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction.  By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.  ~Mark Twain

work in progress

I've had so much on my heart lately. Really the only good way I know how to cope with it and work through it is writing music. A lot of it I feel in the actual music. The tones and colour that penetrates through the pulses. And I love shiny sounds, and good hooks.

Then there are the lyrics, and I wanted something very simple. I normally don't do this, but I've uploaded a sample so far of what I've been working on. I showed it to the band, and Billy says he loves it. We're working through drumming patters and making it elctrorganic. Implementing pads and samples but making it band playable. So, here it is. Feel free to leave a comment on what you think. Please don't post this publicly on facebook or anything yet- I put it on here because I have a limited number of readers. Thanks :)

  newsongidea by Hayden Henderson

you haven't met me yet

this sin of my humanity, it lies in my flesh, and lies through my flesh, and lies to my flesh:

I'm the worst son
the ungrateful one
the complaining gnaw

the stuck up american boy
with dreams of flesh
and self preservation

a volatile agony
the heartbreak
and what I hate so much in you, is how you've become like me.

the perversion of simple
taking scissors to everyone's life
and there's no middle ground

I run wild, with fire in my eyes
an unrestrained heart
and all that I cry is "God, please make this stop"

that's all, and I cry

THEN WITH FERVENT WORDS,
AND HOPEFUL RESOLVE
I SCREAM


"I LOVE YOU JESUS, I LOVE YOU"

Poem #3

glass box
lined in blue and white neon
shot me back 25 years
time didn't matter
a complex function
something I wasn't meant to understand
variables and sequences
couldn't fix the now, then, or ever
ebony glass, with a cold sheen
so brittle, and fragile
nothing can move without permission
so then I take precautions
because nothing is controlled by my mind
only in it

it's like a journey
trial and voyage
exile within exile
the only things that sound appealing
are: paint, time to myself, books, writing
I want a masterpiece
it wont happen the first try
but the first try is a step
and I know it's possible

take some moments
and remember

Poem #2/floods of thoughts

I've gone down roads like these
Before time took to beating my face
Smoke screen after smoke screen
I hide outside, behind a cigarette

It's always a black jacket,
And something warm around my neck
Shielded from this cold weather I love so much
Wanting something so badly, I don't know what to do with it.

Through the thick night, and steady fog
light posts drape orange dresses, postmarks to take me to bed.
Only me and the sound of the tires on the wet road, over the hum of my engine.
So specific in sound, it made my mind lethargic towards all other thoughts.
Sounds that will paralyze me, and cause me to become instantly infatuated.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Being too accustomed to comfort, I've evolved into stationary
Not making moves, on anything, and that's what is killing me.
The awful thing about that, though, I don't have a place elsewhere,
and I still haven't left.

I suppose I don't know how to be real,
and speaking of vulnerability, it's easy to say that on this end of my screen.
I suck at being in public, or public secrets, or cliques, and I haven't found
a whole bunch of people to allow me to work it out...

In all of it though, I'm tired and burnt by this semester.
Cant wait for a break, and Jesus to wreck my heart again.
Gotta grow into my new position, I'm not who I used to be...says a lot of people, I guess.
Gotta stop this whiney bull crap, it probably sounds like all I do is complain when I write...
I'm over it

Poem #1

You are contagious, light up a room
like static and bedazzlement.
The joy in your face, I can't replace
for your affection is far too sweet;
pure and genuine, never to be matched.

Composed and subtle,
You are the sweetest thing I've ever known.
Your love is caring, yet reserved
and like your affection, paramount to who you are.

These are the things I've not felt, nor known.
Some kinds of things I would like to feel.
Out of the corner of my eye, I think I catch a glimpse of it
but it's never certain.
And my timing is slightly off pace, entering the room,
only to see the side of your eyes, through your hair
as you leave through the door.

So I try and think about how to bide my time,
and leave rooms the same time you do.
I fill my days with things to occupy my life,
so that you don't have to.
Books became my world.
I listen to orchestras of pandemonium
I see flashes of chaos, even through the pages...
My hand is cold, but love is not lost.

Fin.