few things on my mind:

I can't find my Gameboy Advance power cord. Which means I'm unable to play it because it's dead and the cord is nowhere to be found. It sucks just looking at Super Mario World sitting in there, and wanting to use Yoshi to eat a blue shell and fly. Bummer.


Today was wild. I don't know what it is, but since I'm free from school for a few weeks, time has no context for me. I literally clock in for work, work a lot, then it's already lunch time and it hasn't seemed that long. Then the day is done. Bam, just like that. So much work to be done, lots of learning, lots of cuts on my fingers, it's good to work hard - I feel satisfied.

Also, I'm glad that for the most part, I throw in my iPod at work, and just go to town on sermons. I'll play music occasionally, but my heart is longing to be plumed deeply into the Word. I'm learning so much and God is showing me a lot. It's wrecking my heart how callous I've become- how it's easy to become unmotivated for the gospel in areas of my life I wouldn't really pay attention to.

Which brings me to something pretty exciting for me. I've been learning a lot and growing in my relationship with the Lord over this past year. A lot of that is due to having regular accountability with Jesse, Rob and continually now with Tadd. Mac has asked me to speak at Faithwalkers in a seminar on the topic of Accountability, what it means to me and how that might work out for a single guy. I'm really honored to even be considered for this, but I'm completely thrilled at the idea of getting what God has shown me and my thoughts across to other men in the movement and stirring them up! Showing them the biblical pattern and importance of modeling one's life after Christ's ministry, and that a large portion of it starts with accountability.

So I'll be preparing that talk, and praying, and rehearsing, and looking for that darn cord so I can play my Gameboy for once...I'm really blessed. Today was a good day, unlike the rest of this week. It's nice to just chill out now. Soli Deo Gloria

whisky, and too much inspiration

one of those things
instances where you see other people's lives
and how much I wish my parent's were rich to just put me through school

but, the reality is, I gotta keep pressing on.

looking at where I'm at in my life, I don't know what will happen in the next month or so. I've been talking with Josh about what I should probably do-regarding the best options for my life right now, but ultimately, I want to fall on my face so hard and weep before the Lord. wanting him to know my heart, by way of exposing everything. wanting to know him more, by way of giving up my heart more.

Whenever I enjoy a nice night cap, I always get this wild groove vain in my brain. I can't contain it, but all I want to do is write you an album, telling of things you'd never even imagine in 10,000 years. Something classy and innovative. Makes me want to write the sexiest record ever. Totally changes what I had in my mind for something good.

But, it's so genuine.

Poem #4/Unsportsmanlike Awakening

Sorrow found me when I was young...
∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅∅
I awake, middle of the night, in disbelief of where things are.
Things like love lost, then found
Things like time wasted, and well spent
Wanting to say more

Unsettling dead silence
Eyes open, like it's been a long slumber
It's still 2:38AM, and I should not surrender until I've passed the tunnel.

Soon, stories and confessions bridging canyons,
and drawing lines, connecting dots, following patterns that stars have made that already blew up.
If those things are on the map, that is. I hate being awake right now.
Hospital bed, pull the plug, I'm not conception inception, power outage without any sort of idea.

You do things, I'm sure of it. I'll make quieter, and go on for this.
∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉∉
...'cause I dont want to get over you.

I'm very interested to see this

I believe as a result of my film class, I've become increasingly attracted to documentaries. If my professor heard me say that, she would probably see to it I got A's for the rest of my academic career...ha!



The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction.  By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.  ~Mark Twain

work in progress

I've had so much on my heart lately. Really the only good way I know how to cope with it and work through it is writing music. A lot of it I feel in the actual music. The tones and colour that penetrates through the pulses. And I love shiny sounds, and good hooks.

Then there are the lyrics, and I wanted something very simple. I normally don't do this, but I've uploaded a sample so far of what I've been working on. I showed it to the band, and Billy says he loves it. We're working through drumming patters and making it elctrorganic. Implementing pads and samples but making it band playable. So, here it is. Feel free to leave a comment on what you think. Please don't post this publicly on facebook or anything yet- I put it on here because I have a limited number of readers. Thanks :)

  newsongidea by Hayden Henderson

you haven't met me yet

this sin of my humanity, it lies in my flesh, and lies through my flesh, and lies to my flesh:

I'm the worst son
the ungrateful one
the complaining gnaw

the stuck up american boy
with dreams of flesh
and self preservation

a volatile agony
the heartbreak
and what I hate so much in you, is how you've become like me.

the perversion of simple
taking scissors to everyone's life
and there's no middle ground

I run wild, with fire in my eyes
an unrestrained heart
and all that I cry is "God, please make this stop"

that's all, and I cry

THEN WITH FERVENT WORDS,
AND HOPEFUL RESOLVE
I SCREAM


"I LOVE YOU JESUS, I LOVE YOU"

Poem #3

glass box
lined in blue and white neon
shot me back 25 years
time didn't matter
a complex function
something I wasn't meant to understand
variables and sequences
couldn't fix the now, then, or ever
ebony glass, with a cold sheen
so brittle, and fragile
nothing can move without permission
so then I take precautions
because nothing is controlled by my mind
only in it

it's like a journey
trial and voyage
exile within exile
the only things that sound appealing
are: paint, time to myself, books, writing
I want a masterpiece
it wont happen the first try
but the first try is a step
and I know it's possible

take some moments
and remember