A wrecking ball
The hand of God moving, allowing things to occur.
Horrible, dreadful things happening.
Heat, blessings. Lots of fullness in my life.
Lots of grief. A weird dichotomy of good blessing and hurtful pain.

I've had my share of heartache to deal with over the years,
but this week has been the worst of it all.

My family is falling apart. Terrible, unspeakable things are willfully happening in my sibling's lives.
It breaks my heart. I'm having to cope with things I never thought I would have to think about.
By the grace of God, I function. It's been hard to focus.
Tonight was a blessing to be safe with my Church family and laugh. Have some beers and be ok.

It's to the point, though, where I'm going to get out of this mess.
I'm going to move out in the next month or two - with or without brothers.
It's just not worth it being around it. I can't handle anymore heartache.
Many, many things to pray about - and my first prayer is that I'm active, not passive, in my prayer life.
I need to be more intentional with my Lord, through prayer. It is a gift.

Maybe this is God's way of putting me in pastoral boot camp for my life.