Bad things happen, but that's ok - it's unreasonable to think that they don't, or shouldn't. The unreasonable thing is, I don't pray like I should. I don't seek God with daring faith. I think to strive to keep the ultimate purpose of my life to glorify God - and I still fall short daily, hourly. But it's not about sticking with those failures, no. It's about his redemption in my life. It's about seeking him earnestly - running in where angels fear to tread. God has preordained the end, and in the same way, he has preordained the means. To be a part of those means to achieve his end is my goal. I want to seek him greater, and though I know still the weight of my sin, even greater I want to know the weight of his devastating grace.
I want to have bold prayers, confident prayers, and recondition my prayer life and faith to actually trust God for things again. So many things I have let derail me, and Steele's sobering reminder that we are in a battle really got to me good. In the same way, Mark Driscoll had a remarkable sermon in which he addresses spiritual war and being on guard. Fierce and brutal, I need to treat this like a fight again and put my guard up. I want to step out with prayers of adoration, acknowledgement, submission, obedience, requests, faith, impossibilities. He has given me many good things, I know full well, but I want something wild and unexpected to rock my world for the better. I don't know what's next, but I'm looking at whom I can trust in a life long battle.
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