if it's possible

I'll try to leave things better than when I found them.
I'll try so much to pick out the pieces from the fallen sadness.
My own, and yours. That moment when I lost it, lost you.

Sometimes all that cures what ails me is a night alone, whiskey, thinking and a record player.

But I also want to be happy and have fun and not leave places feeling alone and bitter, even if I am bitter. There's always garbage to deal with, so I have to know I'm more of the rule than the exception. The sad reality we face is that the hardest thing about our lives is not getting what we want, and treading in knee deep regret. I'm trying to break out of those shackles and hold a better, new perspective and allow God's sovereignty to permeate other areas of my heart. There's time to be stringent, and deliberate, and even opinionated, but when it comes to important things, there's no room to tuck fhings up.

This autumn air I feel at night is perfect. These leaves are turning a new me.
Gotta stay real, and be encouraging because God gave me the gift of contagiousness, and I realize that.
God is teaching me so many things - I'm leveling out of this plateau and headed on the upswing. Too many things to get straight or worry about, but so much to gain and I'm so grateful. God is mostly teaching me to be objective, even keeled, compassionate, and be personal again.

Self serving satisfaction has no place here, even though it fights to come back and stay.