the wind through the trees

a night sky so scantily clad, it was almost as if the moon were seducing me into outer space. i forgot the smell of cold, fresh air, riddled with pine and crestfallen snow. seldom were moments like these to come upon my path, but they lasted an eternity when i was in them. an engagement was to be had, not the formal kind where two lovers are to be wed; no, this wasn't so. it was an evening to find myself, paradoxically as it came to be, lost. intertwined and wrapped up in a euphoria of memories that never were, and hopes for a life that would never be. for i kept seeing myself as people i'm not, nor have the capacity or ability to become. i found myself in a reckoning of accepting who i am, finally after all this time, and not who i thought others meant for me to be. and she was still out there, wooing me through the bitter black of the open atmosphere. i would know her closely some day, and soon, as my hope could only be bridled as much as soon meant.

i could now feel the cold bite through my clothing and wool coat that draped my body in warmth shortly before. i reached for my flask, and twisting off the lid, i slowly found myself reflecting on actual memories of actual things and how moments stole people from me, and how people stole life from me, and how life stole love from me because of people in those moments. they're all faded now, and as the chilled bourbon hit my lips, it warmed me inside. not for the substance and effect, but for the kind times i did have with my kin, those whom i still to this day call brother. it was a warmth that i hadn't felt in quite some time. it was irreplaceable, and gave me the strength to bridle that hope even longer past what soon was meant to be.

the melodies of Chopin soared through the wreckage of my mind, Nocturne in e-flat to be exact. my boots crunched through the snow, and sunk even deeper when i stopped to gaze into the moon.

the only thing i had said aloud that eve was "Sarang, seriously. Come find me."