severed ties

just tonight, on the drive home
smelling the stagnant cigarette smoke from my hands
and trying to hear myself think
over the churning of my belly
i had an odd thought

and it pretty much made my jaw drop...


i think it's safe to say that 80% of what i do is utterly insignificant.
it's proven to be just fillers...like i have no substance
and i just become more and more superficial.

even when i'm on my way somewhere
i just go, without any forethought
not even a guess as to what awaits me when i arrive.

just press my out, through an old fashioned printer
break ceramic pots over my neck
i dont even think about breathing
and how much that means to me





SO

cut, it's gonna be cut. my hands shake while i thought about it
but i'm just gonna cut everything i held on to.
fresh start, who knows what'll happen...i'm sick of who i am.
so sick. it's not a party anymore. just a sneering headache.

maybe i'm too hard on myself. maybe i've gotten too soft.
the only way to know is not to know and go on unsafely.

and the new MEW record is really good. i mean, damn good.