Ivory Tower

I find that my world is crumbling down. Which is quite odd considering that it's "my world" and not "the world", so in my proximity, I should have noticed these things.

Cookie cutter ideas of who people are, what things should be, times, places and changes are all not what I expected. I built things up, and didn't build some things up enough. My kingdom and dominion is now dust, and open handed I stand before God's sovereign purpose, blowing a gust of wind and wiping everything away. Sometimes it feels like I'm just staring at the sun for so long, then I try and look elsewhere and decide where to go; except I can't see anything, so out of impulse I just run. My corneas are seared and I can only see certain things now. Which is good, considering the place I live. A.K.A. The World....

I've been wrong about a lot of things. But I've also been certain about a lot of things, even things that are certainly not in my best interest. Things that I hoped would come to pass, but now I realize that some princesses just aren't worth it, and some treasures are worth less than the cost to attain them. That would sound cowardice to some, but for right now, I do not have the time nor the slightest desire to chase shadows.

I fought the dragon, and he burned me. I stood before the door, and I shuffled through many keys. I left my sword under my pillow, and the tooth fairy cut off her hands. This week has been full of weird dichotomies. I've been a bad steward, but sure learned a lot. I've dropped the ball, yet gained a lot of ground. I'm confused and certain about my directions. I realized I haven't listened to Plans yet, and it's even Jacket weather already. I just keep thinking this is so surreal, I'm going to wake up in a drug induced coma, or find out that I've been in a dream this whole time. But I pinch myself to assure that even in writing this, I've not completely lost my mind. (There's a bunch of wanted posters, with rewards for anyone giving information to the retrieval and safe return of my mind...)

At the end of the day:
I am
Longing for home, Heaven, beyond the grey haven, white shores beckoning my name.

Jesus, King and Ruler. The Son waits for his Father's appointed time to reconcile his bride.
I need to become more sanctified. It's been so hard this week, Harder than ever though, considering everything (thinking to myself).

One day. It'll all come to pass. And my ideas are different now. A lot, so, that's that.