language and magic

theres a crisp air, leaking in
it is not subtle either; quite jarring
and the warmth of 7:26AM leaves my fluffy comforter.

cat scratch at the door, and I know that coffee wont grind and brew itself...
so I drag my lifeless pouch of skin and bones up the stairs, go pee, and let the dogs out.

I'm not even in the mood to read, but I should. My life is lacking a motivating factor.
I have my planned out course, and I'm certainly sticking to it, but as I was telling Josh,
there's just not any plot of land that my ship has to look forward to. For harbor, for rest, for love.

He told me that when he and Krista started dating, everything in his life got serious, real quick.
C grades to A's. Bible study was more strict. Involvement in church and friendships became more intentional. Money and budget became a brick, instead of loosely abiding by a paper. But these things don't happen magically, of course. It takes work and persistence.

The point is, he said, it's rough not having that. But to work towards it in principle. It's nice to think about buying a house, and having a good car, and a salary job or my own business, but these things are nothing. These are nothings I want to share with a wife. I say it that way, because in comparison to whoever she is, these "attainable and admirable" things are just nothing.

anyway, I have some music business to attend to. it's nice to keep that in my life as a release.
Things to sort, and tax, and try. Things to veto and scratch, but others to refine and perfect.
Other things to maintain and just be regular in them. Then go out for a beer or six.

I miss Zach too. It's been a while since we buddied up, but I understand he's busy.
And I miss old life. Life before newbies who are older, who are not so new now, came into the picture.
I left it all on a floppy drive, my old life. And damnit, wouldn't you know, there's not a computer around to read it! Guess I just gotta move on.