how did we turn out this way?

combinations of events and distress
intelectual feeding from first-hand family
habits and mannerisms from conviction

the way we worked
lived
laughed
cried
together, made us fall in love
because summers in high school were everything

and we dreamed of growing up
almost utopian
because it was perfect
looking past all the acne, curfew and not being allowed to drink or smoke...

then we grew up and had all those things
and it didn't become what we thought
but there are still moments when it can be better
and to be better than our dreams would be the wonderful work of God.

I never thought I would sing so deep, but it happened -
through all the prayers losing my voice,
shots of whisky,
cigarettes,
late nights after small group
talking with brothers about theology and the things of God.

I want a reformation, and I want to knock down walls,
and pitch ideas, and ruffle feathers for the sake of preserving what scripture says.

To smash the idea of Contemporary American Christianity, erase the focus of only God being loving to look at what He says about himself in scripture, and grow with the Church into people who center their lives around Christ and the things of Him. How our conduct, speech, likes and dislikes, schedules, stewardship, quiet times, prayers, worship should all be molded after God's own mandate. Image bearers wasn't an easy task post-Eden. Free will chose against God. God, in His kindness, saves His elect.  I will follow scripture and it's own integrity over direction from someone that tells me to shy away from defining important arenas of God and his character.

rant, rant, rave, rant. a long day behind me, soft feather down pillow and bed consumes me. Me and my faith have to fight against comfort. And I know satan is the kind of guy you would trust after first meeting him, and probably invite over for dinner...screw the notion of a red guy with fawn legs and horns. It's a battle, and I need to be sharp. God hasn't given me a wife yet, but he's temporarily filled it with full time ministry to bless his Church in one way or another. that's it, time to catch up on some sleep....

Soli Deo Gloria