scatterbrain

After an incredibly long week, I find myself locked in my room decompressing. Took up some reading and listening to B-sides and unreleased tracks of bands that I love.

My brain is on recharge and I can't seem to sort out what just happened. All I know is that last night was the most fun and joyous time playing music I've had in years. I think a lot of it had to do with tons of prayer and preparation.

Josh's message on sex and remaining in purity until I get married was super convicting for me. God really showed me areas in my heart where I have been lax and that I need to give that to Him, as well as tighten up and cut out my consumption of influences.

Some things that are coming up that kind of bum me out:
Football season: I don't really get to see my dad for four months because it consumes his life. All my friends get to worship their own teams and play fantasy games that really amount to nothing other than bragging rights. Sure, it's fun to watch a few games, and there's nothing wrong with rooting for a team - but I see how much a win/loss affects a person and that freaks me out. It's almost divisive. That much emotional stock should be invested into a relationship with God, or reading Scripture, or even pouring their lives into someone else.

I really wish I were going on the E11 trip too, but God has other plans for me I suppose. I might shoot for Honduras next year, and Asia at some point in the next 3-5 years. And be ready and willing to do anything else God leads me to.

I will pray that God will lead me to the right Church plant and the right woman. I've really let go of praying for those things, and I shouldn't have. I trust fully in the sovereignty of God, but I have not been faithful in praying like I used to be. No matter what, my heart is that my life is submissively giving God the Glory. Today is good, thank you Lord.