what is done is done

a better life is waiting.
I can tell things are going to change, big time.
I can feel it, in my bones.

Aslan is on the move.

God has reformed me in spite of many things.
God has led me to places I otherwise wouldn't have considered.
God has told me to pick up and move on.
God has charged me with being some kind of "change" to which I didn't have any idea of the repercussions that were to follow and landslide in the forthcoming months.

Good are easy and hard.
I can often quantize good with easy. Bad with hard.
Those are the times I'm a lazy Christian.
And the times when I'm a sinful, rebellious Christian, I am gravely reminded that every time, my volition chooses myself over God. I am in need of God to want to seek God, to even have the want for the desire of the pursuit of God. And I'm saved by grace.

Me, the one whom Christ atoned for, still sins, willingly.
What does that say about the condition of our world. We know it, but to think in terms of sin as a value of choice, that changes everything.

Bad things happen, and they are good. I might die of cancer in the next year, and God is good. My mom might get in a car wreck and be paralyzed, and God is good. Infants might drown in the bathtub, and God is good. THAT is a hard truth. A truth that comes up and is impossible to look in the eye. It's easiest said at a hesitant, safe distance when I can write this in my bedroom. When I can think of all the things that are going on in Hayden's life/world and overplay a scenario to imagine bad things, it's safe.

God isn't safe. But He's good.