I don't know why, but it makes me so sad.

My parents just bought a new television, and I don't know why, but it makes me so sad.

The house is empty, except for me and the dogs, and one cat.

I'm supposed to be ok, and keep working in my corner office, and be creative.

This isn't proper, I don't think. None of this unfolded like we were supposed to grow up into.

I'm finalizing my talk for house church, and I keep coming back to this Paralytic.

I keep realizing that this is all of us. This kingdom is built up with redemption and healing in Paralytics running for bread.

Basic stuff, but it's so hard. It's essentially bedrock, so of course it's hard. Just looking at it, knowing what I've gone through, really takes some shells off my pupils. I'll try not to be cathartic, but there is so much powerful stuff that ol' Dr. Luke spills out here.

I'm not trying to be anyone, God is just working a lot of kinks out that I let wind up. Like pulling the hose to water the lawn, or garden, and the flow gets bogged down. You can wait, or walk back and fix the pinch.

But I feel like things are fading in this chapter of my life. I don't know what's on the bend other than my lofty goals. I'll start over, even with rusty pots and pans, an acoustic guitar, and wipe off the dust from neglected bookshelves.

God is really showing me how to be content, and sometimes I don't want to look.
But I listen, still.