over two years down the same road
and it's been incredibly difficult, up until the last 6 weeks.
I keep seeking God, and I keep trying to...well, just gotta stay wise about everything.
Prayers and journals, blogs and songs
Ambitions, plans, shipwrecks and salvage
These are a few of my favorite things...

Today has been quiet. A very quiet birthday.
And even though scores of family and loved ones have wished me well,
it is nice to not have a big to do party. it's nice to not have all the eyes on me.
because my whole life that's what I've sought, attention.
that's what I feed on. but I feel like I'll be more quiet when it's appropriate.
and waiting for God's time is a huge grinder on my pride, so thank you God for that!

I'll keep praying, keep moving forward.
My sights are set, but when I get close, it could look different.
It could be just what my heart desires now though.

at the beginning of this trek, a thing started inside that hasn't stopped.
It's grown in spite of my want, my prodding and pursuing.
It's grown and regardless of my flesh, sin and attempts to get rid of it,
...
it has remained. So today I will smile more than ever.

My heart is joyed, the weather is lovely.
I feel satisfied in the beauty of life that God has given me.
And I thank Jesus for his love. Glory to God! Amen.