Lets just say it is probably really intense when you get to 11:46 in the evening, and you sigh, and it feels like the first time you've breathed all day.

My first thoughts were:
God, things are heavy, but you are strong.
Where's my whiskey.
Thank you Jesus that you're coming back.
If I had a girlfriend, I'd fail miserably right now with whatever it is that boyfriends do, considering how stacked I am, and I wish I didn't think about THAT thing.
Oh, there's my whiskey.

And then I read through some articles, and then I finished my glass and poured another. And I sat in thought, looking at nothingness, until I decided that I need to write it all down, pointless I know, but I wanted to since I found that writing clears my head.

I should get better at writing so my head is clearer, but my heart is full, so I'm looking for that remedy too.

And now, I'll just lay here, wide awake, engulfed.