I've just gotta thank God for getting me through, so far. It's been increasingly difficult up to this point, but refining nonetheless. These things have been pent up all week, so I'm gonna write it out.

For every action, there is a reaction. And I've gotten lost in the idea that not taking action will result in no reaction; except that not taking action is in fact, an action. Obedience to God is key, of course, but, I often put myself in the way.

I'm taking steps to change up everything. Hopefully I'll be able to find a room mate by summer time, and hopefully I'll be able to find where God puts my heart. At that point, I'll be back in school, still working full time, saving, giving, serving - life this year is going to be really good. Just waiting for the thaw, I guess. But, it all seems incredibly possible and like a burst of changed life, flood out the caverns of my mind.

A moment that I fondly think back to is flying over the Atlantic. I was half asleep, leaned against the window of the plane. I had my ipod on shuffle and then Politik from Coldplay came on. My heart always warms up when it randomly comes on, by the way. During the song at 2m:59s, from my vantage point, the sun started to rise over the northern sea. Through the ice on the window and the terrible cold from the loneliness of the sea, the music was harmonizing with the sun rise and I started to feel the glow on my face. The sweeping sounds of the crashing chorus towards the end of the song, the radiant beams jumping across the ocean, the life that came to be was all incredibly overwhelming. I remember that it brought tears to my eyes at how I believe God used that to get to my heart. The emotion and power of music that pushes in my veins, the idea that regardless of the icy tundra of my heart never moving, God will still be there to rise and guide and warm the ice away. I think about that and I have hope, because even then when my world was night and day different, God is very much still passionate and personal. He pursues and loves me. That was over two years ago, the beginning and endings of a lot of things in my life, and much has happened since.

Things like that are check points. Weeks like these are check points. I pray that in three months I look back and see how radically different things are, because I took to my knees and stuck to my guns. Gotta follow through, gotta glorify my God.

I really love this verse: Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.

Amen, Lord let me be faithful, waiting eagerly for your completion. Let me be strong. Let me be bold, unashamed of the Gospel. Give me strength....beer me strength. :-)