A few thoughts:

Christmas will be alone again this year. My parents are leaving. My brother is gay and will be at raves. My sister lives with her boyfriend and will be with his family. This is getting pretty old - I'd make a terrible hermit, though I do like some time alone. I think my parents have gone through a lot, as parents, and want away for a week or so.

I've resolved to host a Christmas party this year in the days leading up to the 25th. So, that should help remedy "I'll have a blue Christmas without you..." *sigh*

This weekend I'm recording "Your Love" and I told Steele that I would like to see all the proceeds for the first month or so to specifically go to the Roots fundraiser, then whatever else they'd like after that. In some small way, I want that to be my additional contribution. He told me that they get a lot of emails from other churches requesting it, so that's encouraging - mostly because my heart is to emphasize the entirety of God's attributes, and break this parochial "love and mercy" view of God in the American church. I want people to worship and adore God for his justice and wrath just as much! TO KNOW what they've been saved from, and that his justice is ultimate and right and revere him for that - but most of all that ALL of his immutable attributes are to be known of and viewed so that we may live rightly before him. Coram Deo. I want to keep doing that with music, as God permits.

I'll be working a lot since this is the last month before our big show in Vegas this January. God has graced me with an assistant that is teachable and a quick learner. Next year is already stacking up to be huge too, so I don't know how much this will level out - I just think my threshold will increase and reach a new tolerance. I have a new found respect for my brothers who have families and mortgages and faithfully serve. It's important that I keep focused on God and face whatever he throws my way, since it's the point of no return soon. (Not in a negative sort of way, just that I am facing the scales and having to count the cost of what it means to step forward).

And then there's this dude who looks high as a kite, sitting at the table adjacent from me, and he's staring at me as I type. It's a combination of the THC, Starbucks jazz Christmas mix, and that I usually always smell good. I mean, he looks hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.