the life that I loved and lost

Some things aren't really going to happen. Like really.

I won't ever be a secret agent spy, like 007.
I'll never have great hair.
I'll probably never see the road for tour or a musical career - it just isn't practical.
A revolving door of romances will never happen, because I'm not Don Draper, and sleeping around goes against Biblical principles, my principles, and there won't be a television audience anyway.

I wont be a firefighter, or a doctor, or a news anchor. I'll never be a film star, or hang out with Will Ferrell. This country wont get better either - Tadd, Andrew and Matt were all speculating this morning that according to the Bible, things can't get better, because it'll all be horrible before Jesus takes us home.

SO -

This life I had dreamt up, it won't come to be. Insert the life of dream job, or physique, or celebrity, and I won't see it come to fruition. There just isn't time. I can't give my heart away to a different girl every year. I can't give my time to a job that takes me out of the game. I can't not serve God and his people. I have to. It's all that matters.

God's will is going to happen. The people of God are his most precious of all Creation. To tend and care for and serve them is therefore the *most important thing I can ever do. *(After a wife and kids, provided that is a part of God's plan for my life.)

Some other things may happen along the way, but I won't hold my breath, because I'll be praying.
I loved a life that wasn't for me. Loved. Past tense. I don't anymore.
I want the life that God made for me. Future tense. In the moment.