heavy

Nights burning forward, I find myself falling asleep in other cities and musing at what could be. I want so much and have so little time.

God will give me strength and heart - because my heart is so weak and pathetic.

This is my life right now - and not one iota out of place. There will always remain my favorite albums, or my staple dinner, or the greatest sins of present struggle, but many new sunrises by the grace of God will find my eyes. Looking across the curve of the earth at how vast my smallness really is.

And I'm praying for God to fill in the empty and lonely parts of my heart; helping me figure that bit out. I dream of going places that will take miracles and provisional leading from The Lord, but I aim high and I've set my marks to always do so.

And this weight that otherwise rests on my neck will momentarily go away when I actually trust God for love, futures, and obedience.

Then again, some nights are just heavy.