that awkward moment when it's been me the whole time

So, I had a dear brother tell me this evening that I am doing way too much. He said that I just need to stop and start to live a little. "Not everything is your responsibility..." is one of the excerpts of that conversation. A loving correction, I think, since he took notice of my "go go go" life.

I guess I'm too much a Martha, if you will. I want to make sure things get done, and make people happy. All in all, I guess it's foolish, since there will always be things to do, and happiness is temporary. Regardless, I like to bless others.

Then again, I relayed back to him that I've purposefully took on all this stuff since there's not much else in my life, or perceivably coming into my life, that would need room for my time. I'm the resident single guy at work, so naturally I'm the candidate for more trips and longer hours. I'm getting compensated, but it's a place I've allowed myself to go since nothing else is going on.

When I have semi-in depth conversations with brothers, it's usually along the lines of exchanging work capacity, ministry, and then the mutual concession of "I'm tired", to which I digress and admit that they are much more tired than I since they have a wife and x-number of kids. I guess they make different schedules than I do, but we work the same. I think I live a bit more on a whim, when I think about it. I for sure schedule out my month to the best of my ability (and with whatever data is given) but other than that, I eat, buy, go, and sleep when I want. (Except for the sleep bit, I hardly get any of that).

So, even though I don't have anything pressing to get in, I think I am going to make way for less congestion in my heart/mind/time/life/vision and live a little. Learning again how to have fun, since it's not always business up front.

I guess that's where I'm at after a camp fire, hot tub, and beer. Saturday night alone was ok, but I'm sure there's better to come. Still, I'm blessed, and thank Jesus for this chapter of life, daily.