break

Well, next sunday in Provo will be the last time I lead worship at the Rock for a while. I had a great time in ardent worship last night, I really felt enveloped by God, and it was the first time in a long time when God grabbed my heart and shook me up. I think it was in a necessary, and good way.

Considering this, I'm going to try my best to submerge myself in more prayer, the word and hit the ground serving the church more. I see this as a parallel "break". Like taking a break from something, and also, when a football team is in a huddle, gives the game plan and initiates by clapping in unison exclaiming, "BREAK!"

And I need to turn over certain areas of my heart, so the Lord is my affection and not someone/something else. God is not going to place a promotion, a relationship, or new possessions in my life if those are the objects of my affection above him. I need him to be my resolve even more so. God will not grant me idolatry. I need a stern correcting. I need to learn more humility and submissiveness.

Then I realize how blessed I am that Josh is my pastor who will just be direct with me. He's kind and loving, but also truthful and strict. He told me, "Hayden, sometimes God uses 'No way Jose' to move people along" when speaking of God's direction and plan for my life. I could certainly be persistent, but unless it is sanctioned for my life by God, it won't work. That's a huge slap to my face, to realize that sometimes my will is in conflict with my Creator's.

I do love music, I'll still be writing, rough recording and maybe a slight chance playing a show or two, but my big idea is to step back and be led, be shepherded and submit. I want to make sure that my relationship with God is evident in my day to day, that I can grow to be increasingly genuine too. I'm thankful for the cross, for my God choosing me, for Jesus loving me and dying for me, and that I was ill-deserving in it all. That's heavy.

1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.