either I've become accustomed to figuring things out with other people by some sort of intuition, or just super lucky? I'm Reformed, so luck has nothing to do with it...
Anyway, I feel great about talking with dear brothers. Being able to just "spill the beans", and read Romans 7 and realize that no matter how unbelievably un-teriffic my days are, how wretched my sin in my heart is, that Christ is my Lord and I'm free from all those (insert cuss-word) days and feelings. Doing this study has been a real great heat checker for me. I started last May, and slowly have been trudging through it. (Doesn't help that I have like 5 commentaries on Romans, and Tadd has four times the amount I do) but, that's the way we get by...
Opening my heart up weekly, or bi-weekly, has been great, because then I don't feel like a pressure cooker, and start screaming and whistling and outbursting irrationally. I have been infamous with outbursting irrationally too, by the way. Keeps me somewhat level headed. That and daily prayer. And the most dramatic change I've seen in my relationship with the Lord has been when I genuinely interceded for other people. If I know he's having a hard time with money, or I know she's finding her place with God, I pray for them. Then I'm not always focused on me me me...
What else? Oh, work is getting rougher. We had a costly incident last week from an employee which set us back $22,000.00 and that really bums me out. There goes my promotion for now. We'll have to spend the next few months recouping that cost by stepping up production. I'm doing all I can to help out and receive delegated tasks so other people can do other important things. In all of it, I know GOD does have a plan for my life. And even though I was working diligently towards a nice prize, I will work all the more past that point, if a promotion happens or not. The frustration I suppose comes in light of wanting to get my life put together with more stability. But again, I step back from the dust cloud and take a deep breath, and believe that the Lord is doing something refining and character building. I hope it refines and builds my character. That was another rad thing too (looking back at the prayer blurb I wrote) this morning I prayed for my bosses that they'd be collected and deliberate in our meeting. I prayed God would give them wisdom as for what to do right now. Even though emotions were high, they were collected, and glory to God for that!
Things get cluttered, and my heart is quick to jump to conclusions, but I see that after all these years, specifically the last two, have been incredibly fruitful to wait on the Lord. Paul Stoddard told me something that was silly, but so true. He said, "You don't learn from cake and ice cream, you learn from suffering." I feel like this last little bit, the Lord has put me through the ringer, but I sure have learned so much, and I'm so grateful for it. We'll see what's next. Big things. Anyway, Soli Deo Gloria!
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